The light went on for me when I read a book called “Behind The 8 Ball” by Linda Berman and Mary-Ellen Siegal. I recommend this book to ANYONE trying to deal with a loved ones gambling addiction. Stop trying to control Q’s actions was was the first thing I learned. Before reading this book, I would leave work early to drag Q out of the casino if I thought he was there. I was trying to control what he was doing while I was at work 30 miles away, not real fun. Trying to control a gambling addict is one of the signs of an enabler. Coming to Q’s rescue at the casino was one of the ways I was enabling him because I would come and pull him out before he lost everything. He didn’t have to rely on his own free will to stop pulling the slot machine lever.

The next point may seem obvious to an outsider, but I had to stop making empty threats to Q. During the real tough times, I can’t count how many times I kicked Q out of the house, only to let him back a couple of hours later. I felt sorry for him sleeping in the truck. Once I realized what I was doing I made the following statement to him; “I can’t say next time you go to the casino I will kick you out, because you and I both know it’s not true. I can say that if you continue down this path I will snap someday and our marriage will be done. I don’t know what that breaking point will be, I can’t say it’s next time you gamble or 5 trips to the casino later, but I will say that I’m close to a breaking point.” I think this statement to Q drove the point home that he needed to find a way to stop gambling. Did he stop the next day? NO. Are we in the clear yet? NO. Is he finally on the right path? YES.

I could go on forever with this question. If I don’t get any for next week, I will continue with this one. Keep the questions coming. Either leave it in a comment or email me at questions [at] downonourluck [dot] com.

Feel free to leave a question about gambling addiction or Big Crumbs you’d like answered in the comments section of this or any other post and I’ll answer it on Wednesdays in the following weeks. Please keep in mind that I’m not a professional therapist, just a person working through a problem. I hope to have more than one question to answer every week, but we’ll see how things go. I’ll get a “contact” page up real soon in case a question is too personal to publish. For now, if you have a question that is too personal to post, please feel free to email me at questions @ downonourluck.com. Don’t worry, I’ll get the contact page set up soon, hopefully this weekend.

On another note I finally found a theme that will last a while on this blog. I’m working with someone to get a new header done for it and I think I’ll be adding some tweeks here and there with more plugins, but overall I know this one will last. Of course, it was a free Wordpress theme which I found at Theme Lab. I have been subscribed to Theme Lab for a long time just waiting for the perfect FREE theme to come along. I really recommend them if you are just starting out on WP as they not only have free themes, but info on hacks and plugins as well. Their weekly roundup on Saturdays is a definite must read. Why should I do a bunch of searching for Wordpress info? They do it all for me in one little convenient post. Thanks guys.