Are you a gambler looking to get some things off of your chest or do you have a loved one with a gambling problem? If so, we’d love to hear from you. Drop me an email at BKayCarter @ gmail.com.
Writing about your problems is a good way to really dig deep inside and figure things out. We want to help as many people as we can.
It just dawned on me yesterday that I haven’t written a post about my husband’s gambling in a while. This may be a good thing because it hasn’t been happening (knocking on wooden desk now). On the other hand, I almost always feel like I have to keep my guard up; if I let down and think things are OK I may bet blindsided and find him at the Casino again.
The main reason that I have stayed with Q is his desire to stop. If he was still taking out loans and doing other “suspect” things, I definitely would have left him by now.
He has sought help in the past which has helped him notice triggers and become more aware of them. This is not a professional opinion, but I know one of those triggers is boredom. Within the last year he has found out about recycling metal and other items for money. He never knows what he will find so in a way this is like gambling for him. There is the thrill of the find and then the unknown of what he will get when he cashes in. He has also found several items that we were able to resell on eBay and at our annual garage sale.
He still has his slips, but finding a replacement for the thrill of gambling has really been an integral part in helping him start down the road of recovery.
If you are in a similar situation, feel free to share what has helped your loved one.
About a week ago, I started a series about why I stay with Q, who is a compulsive gambler. Since then, I have really started to do some soul searching and introspecting. I really think that the second reason I stay with Q has to do with the fact that I thrive on stress. I’m one of those people that is constantly late for everything, partially because I’m busy and I try to get that one last thing done, but I think another reason I’m always late has to do with the fact that I like the adrenaline rush that I get when I’m late. At the time, I hate it, but I always seem to go back to this ugly habit.
Back to what this has to do with Q. His gambling has caused unnecessary stress on our relationship and in a backwards twisted sort of way, I really do think that I thrive on this. He goes and gambles and I build another Squidoo page, he gambles and I go and list more games for sale on the website. I know this sounds quite weird, but I think this is a big part of why we are still married.
Let me know what you think. If you’re working through a similar situation, I would really like to hear from you.
I never ask Q if he reads my blog, it doesn’t matter to me whether he does or not. I don’t write anything here that I don’t want him to know.
I stated in my last post that Q is a good guy and that’s one of the reasons I have stayed with him so far. He came through today with two Valentine’s gifts that I wasn’t expecting. The first gift was a gift certificate for a hot stone massage. Of course, this had monetary value, it was extremely thoughtful and I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. The second gift, he’s not even aware of; he didn’t go to the casino to try and raise money to buy me the gift certificate.
Thank you Q, I’ll enjoy the massage.
Until later,
Brenda
